Deep Freeze

If any of my readers browse through the news headlines (or perhaps are unfortunate enough to be living it), they would be aware that the great Canadian Prairies are in an Arctic deep freeze where we are experiencing temperatures as low as -40˚ Celsius, with wind chill factors in excess of -50˚. For those who are fortunate enough to never have to endure these temperatures, exposed flesh freezes in under a minute, and necessities such as fuel will freeze in your gas tank.

I am writing this because I am currently 90 minutes minutes late for work, as my car has been rendered the equivalent of a large maroon ice cube. The block heater has been plugged in for the last 2 hours, and I've been trying to turn over the engine every 30 minutes, though my attempts have currently proved fruitless.

I realize now that my car should have been plugged in overnight, but the forecast stated that temperatures were expected to rise overnight. Once again, the "Precision Weather Forecast" was far from being precise.

In ten minutes, I will once again venture out into the abyss and make another futile attempt to start my car. Otherwise, I could attest these turn of events as fate telling me not to leave the house today.

You know what it's like in the Yukon wild when it's sixty-nine below;
When the ice-worms wriggle their purple heads through the crust of the pale blue snow;
When the pine trees crack like little guns in the silence of the wood,
And the icicles hang down like tusks under the parka hood;
When the stove-pipe smoke breaks sudden off, and the sky is weirdly lit,
And the careless feel of a bit of steel burns like a red-hot spit;
When the mercury is a frozen ball, and the frost-fiend stalks to kill --
Well, it was just like that that day when I set out to look for Bill.

-- Robert W. Service: "The Ballad of Blasphemous Bill"

UPDATE:

I managed to get my car started, and arrived at work at 10:30AM, a full two and a half hours late.