Freedom, or Something Like It

I have been feeling rather melancholy today. My moodiness is one of the mysteries of the universe -- it is quite unpredictable, and once I am in "one of my moods", there is no way for me to get out of it. I often wallow in misery for days at a time.

I am generally not a happy person. I don't remember the last time I had a good hearty laugh. I am usually dwelling on something that bothers me; often I don't even know what it is anymore. It's everything, and nothing at the same time. That doesn't mean that I am a mean person -- I am actually quite polite. I have a lot of friends, and they understand (and accept) my moodiness as an integral part of who I am. I generally don't take out my anger and frustration out on them, though it has happened a couple of times, I regret to admit.

I am very tired. I don't ever get enough sleep, which aggravates my moodiness. Sleep is a luxury I don't have. I am far too busy working two jobs to get proper rest. Even if I had ample time for sleep, I would just end up laying awake for most of the night, dwelling on some trivial matter until it becomes the problem of the century. When my alarm goes off in the morning, I am so exhausted that it takes all my strength just to get out of bed and face the day. It doesn't matter if I get three hours' or nine hours' rest, I am still exhausted in the morning. Getting up in the morning is hardly a choice for me anymore. I am no longer a student. I don't have the choice whether or not to skip class. If I miss work, I may as well consider myself unemployed. I have bills like everyone else.

Have you ever woken up in the morning, not knowing what day of the week it was, since it seemed no different than the previous day? The last three years of my life has been a steady cycle of what seems to be the exact same thing. I am on a schedule that seems to never change. I only feel like I am spinning my wheels and not going anywhere. It's not unlike those nightmares where you are being chased by some faceless terror, but the harder you run, the slower you seem to go.

It often perplexes me how the majority of the population can go about their daily lives in apparent bliss. I see people like this on the way to work every day. These are people who are so predictable in their daily affairs that you could set your watch to them. These are the same people who have lost perspective on what it means to live in a free country. Sure, they live in a free country, but they are not free to do as they please.

It is my observation that the Capitalist world is riddled with tyranny. This is not a dictatorship by any definition, but instead, freedoms are lost in the greater interest of the economy. Thanks to commodities and taxes, everything in the capitalist world has a price. If you do not earn money, you do not survive. (This was not the case of nomadic peoples, as survival was the key element in their culture). Corporations are quite effective in telling the general population what is required for survival, and how to buy happiness. The advertising machine of the mega-corporations have blanketed (and branded) every possible square inch of space in order to encourage you to spend your hard-earned money on commodities you do not necessarily need. Multi-billion dollar advertising is in fact, so powerful that it can put the competitor out of business, leaving you the consumer, with little or no choice at all.

The true downfall of the Capitalist regime, is that it is not very different from the days of feudalism: 1% of the population controls 99% of the wealth. The rich still get richer, and the poor still get poorer, no matter how you slice the pie.

The only difference is that Capitalism appears to the general population that it is indeed a "free" state. The population are given the choice to elect who will lead the country. This is not true freedom, as only a few representatives are chosen to make decisions in the best interest of their constituents. The best interest of the constituents are often overlooked due to corruption. Humans are generally irrational, greedy, and easily corrupted. Who, in a capitalist regime, has the ability to influence the government in their own best interests? Why, the wealthy of course. It is ironic, that it is also the rich aristocrats who are elected to parliament in the first place.

I have just scratched the surface on what it means to be a free person, what defines a free country, as well as discuss the evils of a capitalist regime. The general population, if carefully observed, behave like zombies, mindless, misdirected, and completely self-absorbed in the trivial affairs of gaining material wealth. As far as the modern world is concerned, there are only a very select few of us who will ever have complete freedom. They are, have been, and always will be the very rich.