Cluttered Thoughts From A Sleep-Deprived Mind

[ed note: I have been quite unhappy with this post in the past days. I have noticed numerous grammatical errors, and I have taken the time to edit this post to a point where I feel I am communicating my ideas a little more effectively.]

It has been many days since I have written a post. The musical Grease is in full swing, and we have performed half of our sold-out shows. This is making it for a very sleepless week. I was not so lucky to get any time off work (I didn't expect I would get any anyway), so it is pedal to the metal for another five days or so.

I have to be at the theater two hours early to get into my costume, makeup, hair, and warm-up my cold hands. The performance is nearly two and a half hours long. There is a period of time of at least a half-hour that it takes for me to change out of my costume and chisel all the makeup off my face after the show. There are after-show parties ("Green Rooms" we call them) that I like to partake in, but as of late I find myself sucking back one drink in about fifteen minutes and then heading home to crash. Put all these things together, and it makes for a very long night. It's like running a marathon every day. The effects of all this energy exertion is beginning to take the toll on the cast.

The show is a runaway success. There are close to no bumps in the show at all by this point. It is very smooth, polished, and professional. Even I am amazed at the size and scope of this show, as well as the attention to detail. The costumes are authentic; the punch lines are well-timed, the music is tight, and the props are, well, authentic. They even have a classic convertible car and two classic motorcycles on the set.

I have taken a number of photos, and I will post them once I have access to a scanner. Many of the shots were so large, I had to take multiple photographs. This means I will have to make composite images using an image editing program. I imagine the Gimp will do a fine job.

November is National Writing Month. I wish I wasn't so busy, then I could dedicate some of my time to some creative writing. I wanted to post some snippets of prose on here to see what you all thought. After Grease has finished, I may have the chance to do some writing. What samples I choose to publish on here will mostly be quickly-written, half-baked ideas. I suppose that what I might write on here will not be more than a few hundred words at a time.

I thought I might take the opportunity to tell you a little bit about someone I have known for about seven years. She also happens to be the most strong-willed, sexiest, beautiful woman I know. Her name is Nina Bennett. She also doesn't exist.

You see, I created her. She was meant to be the protagonist in a novel I began writing in 1997. She's a complicated character; just as we are complicated people. As much as I know about her, a lot remains a mystery.

Nina [pronounced Nine-ah] has many admirable qualities to her. She is smart, independent, attractive, witty, and moral. She is a bit of an activist, and feels that she has the power to change the world for the better. Conversely, Nina also has many equal negative qualities. For example, she is a chain smoker and an alcoholic. She's non-committal, especially where relationships are concerned. I really don't know the details of why, but she's never been in any relationship with any man for any substantial length of time. It is likely that she's been in bad relationships in the past, but then, she has never told me.

Nina is the kind of girl that you dream of. She's tall, thin and curvy; the air is a bit sweeter when she walks past. Her hair is straight yet full, dark and shoulder length. She dresses professionally, and shows as little skin as she needs to. In fact, she doesn't need to wear tight or suggestive clothing to attract a member of the opposite sex. The way she carries herself is attractive enough.

Nina is intelligent, and is well-versed in the dating game. She knows being an attractive woman has its perks, and she uses them to her advantage. Conversely, Nina hates being a fox in a room full of hounds; she can't stand the chase. She is the hunter; the Black Widow. Any man that has ever come on to her has been shot down. She's not just playing hard to get; she would rather be perceived as impossible to get. This of course, is the source of a great deal of anguish and frustration with her male counterparts, as the only thing men want more than anything in the world is the one thing they can't have. These men are the ones who get off easy; those who have been subjected to her kiss fare far worse.

Nina is the kind of person who knows what (and who) she wants. She chooses her mates, just as she chooses the direction of her career. She chooses her "boy-toys" for mild amusement, often for the moment. They are often discarded for frivolous reasons. Some men have been so swooned by her that they immediately wanted some sort of long-term commitment from her -- something she was unwilling to give up, as her freedom is Nina's most precious possession.

The most important thing in Nina's life is her career. She learned early on in her life that there would be no guarantee that someone would be around to provide for her. She has never told me why, but I have reason to believe she has little or no family. She went to University and got a degree in journalism, where she eventually landed a career as a reporter for a major newspaper. She makes a decent living wage, though she often writes into the late hours of the night at home. Being a reporter also allows her to get herself into a bit of trouble. Not unlike Lois Lane, except that Nina does not have her Superman to bail her out of otherwise compromising situations.

Being a reporter, Nina has a moral conscience about her. She is often depressed about the social injustices she often has to report. This could contribute to her alcoholism, though sometimes she feels empowered, and if she rants and raves long enough, and if she screams loud enough, that she might reach enough people to instigate social reform. Nina wishes the world was a better place, and she believes that she has the job, the means, and the ability to do so. I admire her in that respect.

I think of Nina often. I wonder what she's up to, and what she might do if she were in my shoes. She sometimes talks to me in dreams, her personality unlike mine, yet very much a part of me.

Funny. All that being said, I could never spend my life with such a person.