Krappyoke

I had the oddest experience on Saturday night. We went to a quiet neighborhood pub in hopes of having a late dinner, and walked in the door to find a Karaoke DJ setting up the stage for the remainder of the evening's festivities. So much for a quiet evening. After dinner we decided to stick around to see if the bar was going to get packed with amateur singers, or if the atmosphere was going to remain relatively peaceful.

Now for those who know me, you will know I usually avoid Karaoke bars like the plague. If your Karaoke experiences are anything like mine, you will understand: Packed, smoky bars, overpriced drinks, with an overly loud Karaoke system, waiting 2 hours to sing one song while being tortured by horrific off-key renditions of songs you never wanted to hear in the first place, and when you finally get your turn to sing "American Pie", you find that every person in the bar is now your best friend and are crammed on the stage helping you sing the song. This is not my idea of a good time.

This particular pub that I was at on Saturday night was quite small, and not terribly busy. I guess that there were only about 25 patrons in the pub. It seemed that I might be able to squeeze in a couple quick numbers with the Karaoke machine before the bar gets packed with countless wannabe Canadian Idols. I was not prepared for what was in store for me this night.

I was the first to volunteer, and I warmed up with Cherry Poppin' Daddies' Zoot Suit Riot, which isn't a particularity hard song to do, but it has some scatting, something karaoke regulars often have trouble with. Not only that, but you don't often find Karaoke regulars singing swing. I got a particularity modest response, as I expected few patrons would be listening, or even care for that matter.

It soon became obvious that not many people were going to be there, as some tables quickly left, and were replaced only by a few tables of the Baby Boomer Generation. There was only about four or five people that were interested in singing, and I was getting badgered to get up there again and sing another song.

So I hastily found the Eagles' Take It Easy, a very easy tune, and submitted the request to the DJ. I figured with the age group present at the pub that singing some late sixties and early seventies songs might be the ticket for getting some appreciation on the stage. Within three minutes I was up there singing the song, and my idea seemed to be working. This old fellow sitting next to me said I did a great job and asked if I knew any other Eagles songs. I shrugged and told him that I probably knew a few more, but you got to be careful with Don Henley's voice, as he can hit some pretty high notes. I had a feeling that he wanted to hear more Eagles, and I was also getting the feeling that I was the only Rocker in the crowd, and everybody else wanted to hear Country. For all those who know me, also know that Country and I get along about as good as oil and water do.

Well the next thing I knew, I was getting called up to the stage to sing songs I had not submitted. It is a little flattering, but mostly annoying, since you are often coerced into singing songs you do not know in the least. It is a situation I don't care about, as I do not like being stuck up there with material I don't know.

I did get a few compliments about my Karaoke abilities, but I didn't say much more in response than a simple "thank you". This younger couple returned to the pub after leaving for an hour or two just to hear me sing some more -- or so they had told me. Another younger fellow wanted to pay for my bar tab. I began to feel like I was a star in that little pub, and I began to feel that pressures that comes with such privileges. People were trying to tell me that I could sing better than Kalan, others were trying to encourage me to write music. All I heard out of that gibberish was the beer and whiskey talking. I got out of there after seven songs, the last three being material I was not comfortable with, and were out of my vocal range. If I didn't get out of there, I would be singing until three in the morning, and not by my choice either.

I have had some good experiences with Karaoke, but generally, my dislike for Karaoke runs a lot deeper than I had previously mentioned. For me being a professional musician, I have to thank Club DJ's and Karaoke machines for replacing me. There is hardly any place left for live music, and if there is, there is no money in it. Twenty-five years ago, you could be a professional musician and never have to leave the city. You would work six nights a week, make good money, and play a circuit of the same six or eight bars in the city. Clubs with Disc Jockeys were the exception rather than the norm, and Karaoke was well over a decade away. People went to clubs to dance and watch a live band.

Today, you can find Karaoke being offered in at least half a dozen bars and clubs on any given weekend in my little city. Every bar has some form of canned music, either a Disc Jockey or Jukebox. The live music scene has all but dried up. And not just here, it's the same story all over North America -- probably Europe too.

Whatever happened to all the live music joints? I think their entertainment budgets have been getting smaller, their operating expenses have risen, and greed has taken over. It costs far less to hire a DC, pay for a Jukebox, or hire a Karaoke business than it costs to hire a band. A band still has a lot more entertainment value than any of the other options, in my opinion. It's quite boring to watch a jukebox. Disc Jockeys aren't that much more exciting either.

I know if the live music scene here were like anything it was a quarter century ago, I would me making music locally full-time, and I would be quite happy. I would probably be making more money than I am now, and having a much better time while I was at it too.