Carolina Storm Squad? Gimme a Break!

She Looks Better Than She Sings

It blows me away what happens when the US gets their meathooks into a proudly Canadian sport.

No, I am not going to whine and pine about how the Oilers lost game seven to the Carolina Hurricanes. Actually, I am quite proud of my team, they were the eighth-seeded team in the playoffs, and weren't expected to make it past the first round. But in true Albertan fashion, they played with heart, determination, and gave it everything they got.

They believed in themselves, and so did we.

I'm proud of my Oilers, even if they didn't take Stanley back home to Northlands, er, Rexall Place.

They can call it any name they want. It will always be Northlands -- with the snowflake at center ice. And while I'm at it, the Saddledome will always be the Olympic Saddledome.

But what's in a name, anyway?

Cam Ward. Well, here's an Alberta native who played the game in true Alberta fashion, and was awarded the Conn Smythe trophy. And with the number of Albertans on the Carolina Hurricanes roster, they may as well have given Stanley to Edmonton.

But this wasn't what was bugging me. For it occurs to me that in order to get Americans excited about Hockey, they need something else to get excited about:

Like cheerleaders.

WTF?

I can understand a game as boring as basketball (another Canadian institution) needing cheerleaders -- but hockey?

Hockey is fast, cruel, and violent. Have you ever met a professional hockey player who had all his teeth? -- Gretzky doesn't count. Gretzky was God on ice; nobody dared to check him. As far as I'm concerned, any hockey player that made it through the season with all his bones intact didn't play hard enough.

Bring any Canadian college frathouse to a hockey game, pump them full of beer, and by the time the first fight breaks out on the ice, they could care a less if there were a dozen scantily-clad babes with their boobs bouncing up and down.

Hockey fans don't need the cheerleaders during intermission either. That's when we watch the Zamboni, and reaffirm ourselves that the Zamboni driver has the coolest job on the planet.

On top of this, we think Don Cherry has good fashion sense.

Now that you understand where I'm coming from, lets get everyone in Carolina to repeat the following: Cheerleaders? Hockey don't need no stinkin' cheerleaders!